Wait…Mistakes?

Yeah, we know gadgets are bad for kids, yet they are inevitable in the Gen Alpha world. Also, aren’t they educational? Afterall schools are adopting them. With these mixed messages all around, ‘To give or Not to give’ is the pertinent parental question.

When a kid sacrifices outdoor play for another game on his tab or eats only when the Peppa Pig video is on, we sure have a problem on hand.

Read further to know how we, as parents made this inevitable and how to now retract our steps.

1. Screen Time as Reward:

Bribed a kid with screen time? Guilty, as charged. I also watch parents luring their kids into doing acceptable behaviours by offering their favourite video as reward. What chocolates was in 90s, is screens today. What’s the problem, you may ask, for one it’s unrelated to the behaviour, now let’s look at it from the child’s perspective, “Superficial appreciation, depriving me of life essential qs of “Am I seen, Am I worthy & do I matter, I also learn to manipulate to do good not because it means anything, but for screen time” thus building an unhealthy pattern for the long run.

2. Instrument to Read:

Kindle being a book library in your pocket, becomes a handy tool for your kids when getting them to develop reading habits. Definitely, a good use, no? Those of you avid readers might disagree. A real book has character, when you turn the pages, the texture passes through your fingers and as Ray Bradbury says, “A computer book doesn’t smell.” He goes onto relate how as a book ages, it smells even better. By providing an ebook, we rob our children off the sensory stimulation that books provide, and let’s not even get to what the blue light does. Your child silently tells you: “I don’t learn to reflect, pause and use my imagination as much. Know that touch, feel & listening is imp to me.”

3. Take it away:

Guests at home and your kid won’t stop jumping around, embarrassing you thoroughly. You pull your kid aside and murmur in his ear, “Do that more and no ‘Angry Birds’ for you later.” Shocked, the kid obeys instantly and the evening runs by smoothly. Mission successful. All the while your kid was thinking, ““I have an urge to fight you, the more I miss the more it means something to me, its presence adds something into my life – I don’t know what it is now” You just made the gadget a ‘Forbidden Fruit’, making the child crave for it more. Again, it’s not contingent with behaviour.

4. Finish meals:

In olden days, meals were sacred, food would be cooked with attention, love and warmth, families would sit down together and have food in silence. Then dawned the era of ‘Speed’, fast food are a go-to meal, TV watching is clubbed with dinner to save time and still there isn’t enough time. Observing us, the kid also demands to watch his iPad while eating. Mommies and Daddies think, ‘How convenient!’ and thank their stars when the kid finishes the whole meal and more in half the time. So run the videos, while morsels and morsels of food go into the mouth. Meanwhile in the child’s mind: “I can use it anytime, Eating is a “blah” activity, it doesn’t need attention”

5. Remedy to Boredom:

With the dreaded summer vacations around the corner, you must be wondering how can you keep the child busy all day. Good news is: I have a quick fix for you, your loyal friend, the Tab. Guaranteed results: the child becomes occupied, silent and focussed. Win-Win for everyone! The child learnt an important lesson: ‘Boredom is not okay, you feel it, you fix it, whatever it takes’ Failing to see the beauty of boredom ourselves, we cannot introduce it to our kids. Jon-Kabat Zinn said, “When you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting.” Allow your children to explore boredom, experience it, feel it and see what it do them, creativity flows when the mind gets space to work.

This article is authored by Ms Ketaki Natekar. She is a psychologist and Sr Executive – Training, content and Research. Ms Ketaki conducts Parenting workshops and is passionate about helping children build healthy relationships. This article is inspired by her workshop on ” Conscious ways to help kids build a healthy gadget relationship – 12 mistakes that a parent make and is unaware…..”. For more info write to us on info@evolveed.in